How to Recognize the Worthwhile Man

Consider the following thoughts of a woman who has just begun dating someone she likes:

"I've never felt such a strong connection with anyone. We talked about everything. He was so into me... but yesterday, my call went directly to his voice mail – again. I know how busy he is. Maybe I'll text him. What should I text? He did mention that he was flying out of town for a family thing, but I think that was last weekend. It's been two weeks since I saw him. Maybe I was wrong to have slept with him. Why doesn't he call? Then again, he's got this crazy schedule..."

Why he stopped calling.

If the above scenario has become all too typical for you, it is definitely time to make some changes. The "Desperate Housewives" routine simply doesn't work. It is useless for any woman to chase after a man who cannot be bothered to expend the small amount of energy it takes to make a single phone call. If he hasn’t called, then he is not particularly interested and it is a waste of a woman's valuable time to keep calling him. Sure, if a woman offers herself up to him, he’ll likely take her to bed again, but make no mistake - men think differently. Having sex and caring do not always go hand in hand in his mind. The reality is that he has discovered that she is an "easy kill" and he gets to be a “lazy lover.”

The crazy schedule man would make time in his busy schedule to call if he truly wanted to have a connection with a woman. The feelings she thought were there, were not there for him. This guy is likely a player. Leave him to play elsewhere. He has revealed his true colors, and it is a woman's responsibility to walk away once she discovers the truth. End of story.

An analogy of deer and hunter.

Just for fun, consider the following analogy: Let us suppose you are a deer and you've spotted a hunter coming at you with a loaded rifle. Would you stand there with a sign around your neck that reads…? “Shoot Me.” Obviously, you would not. Rather, you would sprint away like the stunning, intuitive deer that you are. You would know deep down that any good hunter worth his salt will happily pursue you - no matter the cost, time, or trouble.

In wild game hunting, there are good hunters and there are lazy hunters. A good, seasoned (deer) hunter has a high amount of regard for his quarry. Subsequently, he familiarizes himself with the terrain and habits of his quarry. The good hunter is patient and is mentally prepared to endure an inordinate amount of discomfort in order to effect a successful hunt. He has a strong appreciation for the demands of tracking game. In fact, the good hunter doesn't want an easy kill. He wants the trouble of an arduous chase - he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Likewise, the good man is truly humbled and highly appreciative of his love interest. The time he expends on a woman makes her that much more precious to him. If he truly desires a particular woman, he is willing to go to almost any lengths to have her because he believes she is worth the effort it takes him to pursue her properly. He wouldn't mind having her sooner, but he is willing to practice patience in the hope of winning her over in time.

The “lazy hunter,” on the other hand, is out for the slaughter and an opportunity to strut. Furthermore, he has no compunction about shooting carelessly. After the kill, he is fine with leaving a deer unattended, to suffer alone. The lazy hunter has no respect for the hunt; he hasn’t much respect for anything. Once he kills, he leaves to find the nearest beer cooler, or the next easy kill. Furthermore, if the hunt is not quick or convenient, he leaves even sooner. In his view, women are a commodity - something to be tossed away when she has served his purpose, no longer amuses him, or has become too much trouble.

The parallel is clear. The lazy lover, like the lazy hunter, is interested only in obtaining instant gratification. He shoots and he leaves - you can count on it. On the other hand, the good lover, like the good hunter, takes pride in a clean hunt. He has the ability to wait for what he wants. You can count on his ultimate purpose, which is to find love.

We must use our head before committing our heart.

The good news is that decent, worthwhile men are out there, and it really is possible for women to avoid falling into the “Shoot Me” trap. Women can have more positive results from their dating experiences simply by taking the time to see what kind of man is really in front of her before she decides to become emotionally or physically involved. I've said it before, "Women in this country have a choice," so choose the man who is capable of committing to the chase and walk away from the lazy lover who is self absorbed and incapable of committing to anything beyond his penis. Stop making excuses for the the lazy man's hurtful actions.

A woman who is savvy in dating is not an "easy kill." Her vision is clear. Having put away her rose colored glasses, she makes smart decisions. She dates successfully because she likes herself too much to become emotionally invested in a man who isn't caring. Nice abdominals and a way with words will not cut the mustard with her. Instead, a smart woman places her focus on men who are consistently thoughtful and considerate.

A woman who is savvy in dating is not unlike the regal deer.

A self-assured woman carries herself with grace. She would never knowingly wear a victim's sign around her neck. Her confidence holds her in good stead throughout her life; she is consistent in making wise choices in love and it is easier than one may think...it simply requires a bit of self discipline. If we want a worthwhile man, then we must become a woman who realizes her worth has nothing to do with her bank account or her bra size. Rather, her confidence comes from the realization of her worth is wrapped up in being a human being who deserves to be treated like one.

This feeling of self-worth is the catalyst which frees women to avoid investing her emotions in men who are wrong for her. Savvy Dating is all about taking personal responsibility for choosing relationships with loving, worthwhile men who are committed for the long stretch. We are worth it and we need not settle for less.

Cheers!

Savvy